Cell Phone Conversations Part 1

As I rejoin the masses on campus, I find numerous chances to overhear people speaking loudly into their cellular telephones. I've only heard two so far today:

"My English teacher is soo hot. Yeah, I walked in and then this guy walked in behind me, and I was like... he is so hot! He's the teacher! This is gonna be a good class. Except it's at 9 in the morning."

"I'm in intro to theater, we learn about plays and stuff."

Yeah, well, these conversation tidbits aren't that exciting, but I felt like posting about the first day of school and this was all I could think of. I plan on making this a recurring feature, as I've heard many funny things from this that I should have written down before.

I never thought it'd come to this...

Dear STA2122,

We’ve been seeing each other for about three months now, but I’ve been harboring these feelings that, well, it’s just not going to work out between us. In short, you’re too simple-minded and predictable for my tastes.

When we first met, my friends told me you were boring and not worth my time. At first I didn’t believe them- you introduced a few concepts to me that I had never encountered before. But after a while it became rather stale- down to the same old thing over, and over, and over again. You never really challenged me; you never even tried. You were content with meeting three times a week, but as time went on I wanted to see you less and less often.

So, this Thursday night will be the last time I see you. I don’t need you anymore. After that I will throw away all of my notes from you. I will sell the book I bought for you. I will forget about you. If people bring up your name in conversations with me, I will openly mock you and everything you stand for. I’ll let everyone know that you’ve done nothing but waste my time. Badbye.

Sincerely,
JPD

Jones Soda + HSR

Jones Soda, makers of really good tasting soda, make really bad tasting soda. And sell it. A lot of it.

HAhahaha.

*EDIT:

And the Chapman brothers produce another gem. Seriously, this is one of the best. Maybe even better than The Bird.
*Gasp* Is this the end for SBEmails?? Probably not. (They just released the Strong Bad Emails DVD this week, too). Oh, and there are two easter eggs at the end of this week's email, on both of the gears at the end.

OH Yeah! And they're releasing 12 pack cans of Jones Soda! Only at Target!

What I may have learned today.

Austria has a policy of permanent neutrality, despite joining the European Union in 1995.

In terms of field dependence learning styles, I am more of a field independent learner. I "enjoy analyzing grammar structures" and "prefer working alone to working with other people." However, I am "less skilled in interpersonal/social relationships" and "need a quiet environment in order to concentrate well."

One must pay FSU $30 in order to prove to the Man that one is computerly competent.

I enjoy making up words like "computerly".

One must have an idea of what to "get out of the [FSU] career center" before stumbling in and asking the counselors what's up. Without an idea, the counselors will typically sit someone in front of a large file of articles detailing, for example, various people's success stories and "interesting careers" in Psychology.

FSU's radio station, WVFS 87.9, does not have The Police's "So Lonely" in its library, but the host will play "De do do do, de da da da" upon its request (close enough).

Apparently, professors sometimes employ substitute teachers to instruct the classes they cannot attend. Can I send in a substitute student?

and

It seems Britney Spears just keeps on breaking all the rules...
like the one I made that says that she's not allowed to release a greatest hits CD.

Last Minute Reminder.

Polls are closed throughout (maybe not in Alaska and Hawaii, whatever), but in case you forgot, Dick Cheney usually keeps his promises:

"Make no mistake: If Kerry becomes president, no one will be safe from me," Cheney told reporters. "Businesses, places of worship, schools, public parks: No place will offer you refuge. A vote for Kerry is a vote to die in your own bed at the hands of Dick Cheney."

So be careful, or be roadkill!

The Internet.

Today, I feel somewhat obligated to relay some information that many people who do not visit Fark regularly would likely miss. So,

Meet Elvis, the lovable alligator.

Next, we have Barry M. Seltzer, the guy who claims “I was exercising my political expression,” when he drove his Cadillac "up the sidewalk directly at Harris and others before swerving and driving away".